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RWBY: The RPG

A role playing website based on Monty Oum's RWBY. Create your own character and weapon. Choose to protect the peace, or ruin it.
 
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 Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet)

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Byan_Crimson

Byan_Crimson


Posts : 138
Join date : 2014-04-04

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PostSubject: Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet)   Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet) Icon_minitimeFri Apr 04, 2014 12:48 pm

CHARACTER

Name: Claude Ghirahim

Age: 20. 23rd day of the tenth month

Gender: Male

Species: Faunus, Wolf's tail and ears

Symbol:
Hunter's moon:

Occupation: Beacon, 3rd year student

Appearance:  6'1, 145 lbs very skinny, and lanky, black hair down to his shoulders with a Crimson red streak in the front, and a dark-ish olive skin tone, his facial structure is fairly sharp, complete with defined cheek bones, dark brown eyes and sharp arched eyebrows, constantly looks condescending. He likes wearing very form fitting cloths under a very flexible armored vest that appears as a regular dress vest, along with a flexible metal collar that converts into a face mask, covers his mouth, and provides a targeting sight over his right eye during combat...
However, on Sundays he wears a black tuxedo with a bow-tie holding a rather large book that he takes to his best friend's grave to sit down and read him a chapter of his favorite novel though he usually wears contact lenses, during this time he reverts to wearing glasses because the blurred periphery makes it easier for him to focus on the book.

History: Claude lost his father before birth during a mass Ursa Major rampage, which killed several other guards and townspeople. His mother died in labor so he never knew his parents, and was taken in by his best friend's family.
He lost his best friend, a human, in a White fang ambush at the age of 14, though he himself escaped thanks to a now former White Fang member named Arik hence why he's so protective of his friends.

    the ambush happened during a trip into the city, the two were running errands for their parents, shopping for food, dust, and supplies for the week. on their way back home several white fang members ambushed and cornered them. In an attempt to provide Claude with a chance to escape Alexander attacked the white fang and told him to run, however he was overpowered and brutally beaten to death.

    Upon dropping his hood Claude's ears were revealed to one of the assailants, Arik, Who had then tried to stop his fellow gang members from beating Alexander down but they wouldn't listen to reason. Arik then fought off his own squad members but it was too late, Alexander was dead.

    He then used a smoke bomb to distract his own comrades and grabbed Claude's arm and Alexander's limp body and took them to a Nearby hospital where he renounced his affiliation with the White fang for killing an innocent Child and harming a fellow Faunus. after contacting his parents Arik left Claude and Alex at the hospital his final words to Claude being "I'm truly sorry, this wasn't supposed to go down like that... I'll understand if you hate me, I'd hate myself too. My name is Arik, if you want to seek me out for revenge I won't blame you but I can't stay here right now, they're probably looking for me. if we ever meet again I hope we can be friends, but if not I'll understand, and I'll let you take your vengeance out on me..."  

    From then on Claude trained under Alex's parents. He learned everything he knows about combat from his late best friend's parents, and went to signal academy, where he met an unlikely friend by the name of Nessa. Having trouble working in groups Nessa approached him and took him under her wing both as a friend and sort of a Younger brother, she was always more of a bubbly party girl, she ended up graduating at the top of her class one year before him, and shortly after Claude was scouted by Beacon. where he once again met Arik, who was providing Nessa with a campus tour. Not knowing their history Nessa didn't understand why Claude had such vicious animosity towards him, however within the span of a few months she convinced Claude and Arik to get along and thus began their friendship.

    Ever since his Alex passed away Claude always carries a picture of the two of them inside a pocket watch-locket with a black and red rose design, the words "We'll never be apart" engraved on the inside.
The only two people he considers friends being, Nessa who took the initiative to help him with
teamwork at signal, and Arik, who saved him from the White fang ambush shortly after he lost his friend, are almost always seen together despite being in different teams.

Personality:
He's Gay, although you could hardly tell. His behavior is seemingly indifferent towards everything. He's a very solitary individual, and doesn't talk much, nor does he have very many friends, he seems very distant, cold, and uncaring but in fact he is extremely loyal and protective over the very few friends he has, he often risks his own life to protect his friends because he doesn't think that he'd be able to handle another loss.

He gets along very well with Arik, who was always a quiet individual, constantly focusing on his work or on any given task. despite the fact that they hardly talk to each other, it's sort of a mutual silent best friend kind of thing. They're often seen eating pizza while sitting under a tree together, however nobody knows how he is able to afford an entire 24" pizza every day. He despises people with superiority complexes but he occasionally makes exceptions, though he hates the White fang because of what they did to his friend.

Although hes never one to start a conversation, he can hold a good one. He's very weary about new people, and gaining his trust is fairly difficult, One would think that he'd get along with other Faunus, but because of his loss, he expresses a deep distrust for them, though it's entirely possible for another Faunus to befriend him.

He also has an obsession with the lead singer of a certain boy band, when he thinks he's alone he can be heard singing some of their songs to himself, his locker as well as his notebooks are decorated with magazine pictures of the lead singer cut out in heart shapes with awkward little speech bubbles containing quotes from song lyrics.

Despite how he appears to others, he's actually not that cold, he's actually full of emotion, and on the rare occasion where he's seen with Nessa and Arik he can be seen being bubbly and smiling, it's safe to say that his friends truly bring out the best in him.

Likes: Dogs, Pizza, Books, Flowers, examining other peoples weapons, and on occasion working with other's on weapon designs

Dislikes: White fang, people with superiority complexes, the smell of citrus, peanut butter (reason unknown), and constantly being set up on blind dates by Nessa, although he doesn't tell her he doesn't like it because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings.

Strengths: His extreme sense of loyalty, his trust in his friends, his speed, agility, and skill with his weapons
his sharp senses such as his hearing and night vision, and his brotherly affection towards those he cares for.

Weaknesses: His loyalty, if his friends are in danger he often risks himself and acts before he thinks.
Sentimentality (he protects his locket at any cost) his attitude towards others, though he's loyal
he's hard to befriend and his trust does not come easily. Pizza... since it's his favorite food the scent often distracts him, he's not very strong, therefore making direct impact defenses a major issue, but he can carry a little over his body weight

Semblance:
Blitz Schlagen (Flash Breaker) User is able to create "flash projections" of himself as he moves from place to place, he seems to be striking from multiple places at once, one way to tell a copy from the original is to focus on the shadows, only the real Claude will have a shadow and thus would be a target for an enemy strike, if a copy strikes an enemy it will not harm them in any way shape or form, the copies are merely used as a diversion and will vanish upon contact.

WEAPON
A lightweight Black bladed Katana given to him by his late best friend Alex. The katana is decorated with a crimson floral pattern on the blade, the cutting edge is sharp enough to slice a falling piece of paper without any force. the sword itself is held inside of a custom built high caliber sniper rifle that fires .50 rounds, with an excessively large clip, used as the sheath with the name "Alexander Black" engraved on the barrel, the rifle also utilizes various types of Dust, He favors white dust for added kinetic force in his shots and red for explosive impact bursts.
   
    The rifle is custom built by Claude with kinetic shock suppressors to greatly minimize recoil, however the shots fired from the rifle are very loud. Claude is currently investing some time into researching a way to lower the sound of the rifle however it is evident that this will take a good while.

Name: Bersten & Jäger (Burst & Hunter)

Primary Form:
Bersten: A semi-automatic High Caliber scopeless sniper rifle, also used at the sheath for Jäger, it fires .50 rounds, with an 24 round clip, Claude carries at least 5 magazines not counting the one already attached to the rifle at all times, his motto being "always outnumbered, never outgunned" the rifle is Onyx black with a scarlet floral design on it, on one side of the barrel is the name "Alexander", on the other side is "Black", the first and last name of Claude's late best friend.

    The rifle does not require a sight because Claude already has one that rises up from his collar to his right eye when his face mask forms from his collar during combat. the rifle is built for rapid fire, although its reload speed is somewhat time consuming as the magazine must be removed and replaced, it takes a few seconds. The rifle is built with high powered shock suppressors that greatly minimize recoil and make it great for an agile shooter like Claude, it's made out of a lightweight yet extremely durable alloy and weighs in at about 14.5 lbs currently still a two-handed gun, Claude is working on an arm brace to lighten the weight allowing him utilize both the rifle and his sword at the same time, though he admits that creating such a mechanism will take a great deal of time and effort. The rifle itself is extremely loud causing Claude to also work on creating a sound suppression mechanism, although he also admits this this too, will be time consuming.

Secondary Form: Jäger: Claude's Black lightweight Katana with a Crimson Red floral pattern along both sides of the blade, sharpened to an extremely fine edge that can slice through a 4 inch stack of wood, the hilt is secured under the barrel of the rifle in a specially designed chamber, it can be launched outwards towards an unsuspecting opponent via a pressurized burst of air sending the hilt flying towards a designated point where it is then caught by the wielder after bouncing off of it's intended target. this technique is usually used when an opponent is close enough to impede the wielder's drawing capability. inside of the hilt are two separate dust chambers that Claude uses. one filled with red dust for energy redirection, and violet to add power for a single use enhanced slash attack, both dust abilities need to be replenished after each use forcing Claude to use them carefully.

Tertiary Form: N/A

History:  
The Katana was made and given to him by his best friend when they were younger, the sniper rifle, later re-customized as a sheath, was made by him, it was intended for his late friend. these weapons were made by hand from scratch, with the help of their parents, soon after Claude and Alexander made the decision to go become aspiring hunters.

    The weapons started out as a project and through a great deal of blood, sweat and hard labor they finally finished and presented each other with their own respective weapons as a sign of everlasting friendship. these two weapons are of great sentimental value to Claude and are always kept in pristine condition, the sword is always sharpened and polished and the rifle is always cleaned off, and well lubricated. Because of the weapons origins Claude always treats them as an extension of himself rather than just another tool.

    It is obvious that he possesses great skill with both of these weapons, since the hilt first touched his hand Claude has trained himself in the art of sword combat, and as a tribute to his fallen friend he has trained himself to shoot the rifle with deadly accuracy.


Last edited by DrGustave on Tue Apr 15, 2014 4:01 pm; edited 21 times in total (Reason for editing : Additional detail was suggested and typo edits.. more typos, Name change)
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DrGustave
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DrGustave


Posts : 941
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Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet)   Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet) Icon_minitimeFri Apr 04, 2014 3:12 pm

I'm going to need you to flesh out this character a lot more. Who, what, where, when, and why are great ways to add more detail. For example in your history you mention two people, Nessa and Arik. Who are these people? How did he meet them and what are they like? What was it like when they met?

You're going to need to nerf your semblance a lot. Improved speed, accuracy, kinetic force, AND agility is just too much for one semblance.

Most of your authors notes do not need to be authors notes. For example, "He lost his best friend (a human) in a White Fang ambush" Can be rewritten as, "He lost his best friend, a human, in a White Fang ambush". Fix those.

There are still some capitalization errors you need to fix, real Life bands do not exist in this universe, and try to expand on your weapon descriptions, it's not necessary but it's good to do.
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Byan_Crimson

Byan_Crimson


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PostSubject: Re: Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet)   Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet) Icon_minitimeFri Apr 04, 2014 4:23 pm

Done and Done.
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Byan_Crimson

Byan_Crimson


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PostSubject: Re: Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet)   Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet) Icon_minitimeSun Apr 06, 2014 3:06 pm

Alright, i have made a few changes in the character, including his name Smile
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DrGustave
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DrGustave


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PostSubject: Re: Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet)   Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet) Icon_minitimeSun Apr 06, 2014 3:36 pm

Alright, SUUUUUUUPER iffy on the semblance but we'll see what someone else has to say. Approved +1
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Byan_Crimson

Byan_Crimson


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PostSubject: Re: Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet)   Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet) Icon_minitimeSun Apr 06, 2014 3:45 pm

In order to NERF the semblance a little more, i added extra detail to it's down side, thanks for the +1 Smile
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Skylight
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Skylight


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PostSubject: Re: Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet)   Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet) Icon_minitimeMon Apr 07, 2014 10:25 am

I am a little iffy on the semblance, but it seems fine. There is a backfire to it, and it doesn't seem too overpowered. Approved 2/2
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Amber
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PostSubject: Re: Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet)   Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet) Icon_minitimeMon Apr 07, 2014 2:39 pm

I'm gonna give a hard no on the semblance. It's really four abilities rolled in to one, with a chance of there being an actual downside. I'll be quite honest here, anything without a clear cut downside at all times is probably going to be a hard no, as well. On this site, most people are never going to actually make use of the berserker "downsides", and I feel that it would be the same situation here. Cut it down to one ability (so speed, OR strength, OR accuracy, OR after-images), and I'd be fine with it going forward, but as is, it's way too powerful for what amounts to almost no real downside.
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Byan_Crimson

Byan_Crimson


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PostSubject: Re: Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet)   Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet) Icon_minitimeMon Apr 07, 2014 2:45 pm

Fair enough, i'm keeping the after images, so it would be a "dopple gangar" effect
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PostSubject: Re: Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet)   Claude Ghirahim (formerly Brendon Scarlet) Icon_minitime

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