Night Alexander Striff

Name:Night Alexander Striff (prefers Night)

Age: 17 Birth: 5 day of the 12 month

Gender: male

THEME1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNeQc_qofCA THEME2 during hand to hand combat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQHukbKJ1P0

Symbol: A iron moon with a wolfs eye in the center with a black X for the pupil.

Occupation: Student at Beacon Academy.

Appearance: 5.9, weighs 133. human, snow whit hair, blood red eyes. large black jacket, dark red dress shirt, black leather pants, and black with red trim combat formal shoes. Night is covered in scars from his training and battles. Also wears fingerless black gloves with a crescent white moon on top of each glove. Night also wears a black mask that covers half his face and stops at the ridge of his nose, and it has to white X's where his cheek bones are.


History: Night was misunderstood as a child. He would always say that the wind told him stories but everyone thought he was cursed, so he ran away during a snow storm. After walking for hours the wind told Night that he wasn't alone and carried him far away from his home to a frozen land. When he gets there he finds a iron black violin with a iron moon crest on it. He looks up to see that the violin looked as if it was coated in iron and he began to play the violin make the most harmonic sound of nostalgia that seemed to become the wind itself. Night fell ill to a heart condition but was found by a man named Ivan Steinbeil who healed him with his aura.

 After being healed Night became Ivans adopted son, which he was then taught how to use aura, hand to hand combat, firearms, and to play the piano. After a few years Ivan died teaching everything he knew to Night. But before Ivan died, he gave Night his sword which was called Red Wolf Moon, or R.W.M for short. Then Night traveled to Sanctum to begin a new, but when he left he never played piano again. On his way to Sanctum Night worked at dust shops to earn dust to form his special ammo, or he would do a job to handle some grimm problems. On his way to sanctum Night was ask by an odd old man do kill a grimm for him, Night accepted and went to find this grimm. After a bit Night ended up finding a cave full of Beowolfs. Night ended up killing them all but in return he got away being covered in scars. When Night returned to where the old man was gone but left behind a small box that hade five unusually cylinders full of an odd looking gold dust. Night decided to keep this unusual dust his secret and head to Sanctum.

After being at Sanctum for a few months the teaches decided to transfer Night to Beacon seeing how they could not teach him anything that he already knew. Since Night was curious on learning new ways to improve his skills he agreed to the transfer to Beacon. After packing up Night found his old mask pushing the memories away he put it in his back, holstered and sheathed his weapons he left Sanctum to the airships that would take him to beacon.

Personality: Kind to the people he meets but can become very serious. When Night is in the midst of battle he stays calm, happy in fact. Observing his opponent with respect taking in every detail looking for a way to defeat them. Night loves playing his violin Iron Black Moon that has some mystifying effects on the people who his its melodic tune. Due to thorough training, his teacher Ivan also taught Night how to be a perfect gentleman around the people he met but with a sense of humor to add in with it.

Strength: wont attack the enemy if my ally is in the line of attack. Night is able to concentrate just long enough to fire three rounds off and hit his target with Gold Rodger at a range from 100m-200m. Has amazing agility and speed allowing him to climb and scale curtain surfaces with ease like mountains. I can hold my breath for a long time.

Weakness: being wet or in water neutralizes my semblance. my semblance only works with solid object s like stone. If im wet my aura isnt able to transfer to the earth around me due to the moister. I am unable to swim. I can only use my semblance within a 13 foot radius.

Semblance: My semblance is earth manipulation. it allows me to use any solid enough material like dirt,stone, or sandstone to form a barrier to use in battle. it also allows me to turn stone to sand to form a type of trap for my enemy to trip in.

WEAPON Name: Gold Rodger

Primary Form: A old fashion but new aged black revolver that has gold embroidered on its sides and edges in a victorian fashion. Gold Rodger is about 10 inches long and can load up to 6 custom 408.caliber rounds that fires bullets made from dust. The effect of these special bullets vary from fire, ice, polarity, shock, and earth form a quick sand material under the target for a couple seconds. Gold Rodger can only house one type of dust bullet at a time.

Secondary Form: If needed when the hammer is pressed down, Gold Rodger will flip upward and extend into a very sharp katana but also giving it the elemental effects of the bullets. When the trigger is pulled the bullet will land in the center of the katana locking it in place and crushing it expelling the power of the dust bullet shrouding the blade in its energy, but only for a short amount of time.

History: Gold Rodger is of my craftsmanship. Its alloy was forged from a volcano. I used my semblance to form small routes into a custom mold to avoid going into the volcano. it took a good 2 years to make Gold Rodger. The ore i used was of the highest grade of composite obsidian mixed with steel and iron. It took almost my entire supply of dust to buy. The gold embroidered around Gold Rodger was mixed with black dust making it able to fire the high powered ammunition.


WEAPON 2 name: Red Wolf Moon

primary form: R.W.M is a 6 foot long one/two handed black to red katana with a a curved strait edge at the top giving it a better draw speed. R.W.M's hilt is my emblem and is capable of spreading dust across the blade the blade. R.W.M is also capable of firing  wave of fire dust when swung.

History: Red Wolf Moon was past down from my teacher Ivan Steinbeil before he died. He told me it took him 10 years to forge the blade using only red quartz steel giving its red blade color. After awhile of traveling I then rigged a dust energy conduit into the hilt and hid it with my emblem. After thorough testing i found that the conduit and the blade only worked with fire dust. Destroyed a lot of energy conduits that day...

Alrighty. From the top.

Your occupation is a Student, but you do not mention this in your history at all. What are you a student of? Beacon Academy?

Appearance: Height is 5.12. Assuming that is 5 feet, 12 inches, you can also say 6 feet, because its the same. The target weight for a male human that is 6 feet tall is about 180 pounds, with the low end being around 160. You are extremely underweight.

History: Your history is confusing. Unless its all metaphoric, it needs to be rewritten to fit within the RWBY universe. Currently, there are no other worlds, and no magic portals between worlds.

Personality: Explain how/why/when he becomes dangerous in the blink of an eye.

Strength: You cannot drink blood to regain your energy. This isn't a thing in the RWBY world currently, and is not allowed here either.

Weakness: By magic, I assume you mean Aura. Please explain what you mean by overusing your magic. Not attacking because an ally is in the way is not a weakness. In fact, I would say that's a strength since it shows you are not willing to kill allies because they got in your way. You need a new weakness.

Semblance: What do you mean by form objects? Can you transform things into other objects? That's too powerful and I can't allow that. You can take something like magnetism, which would allow you to control metal, much like Pyrrha does.

Weapon: Volcanoes are quite dangerous. Especially when its active. The air is often very toxic, and the heat can kill you as well. You need to explain how you were able to forge a weapon in the heat of a volcano without dying.

Done with the edits and added some new things.

You need some extra details in your history about how you got to Beacon. You can't just walk up to the school and get in. Without having gone to a lower combat school, like Signal or Sanctum Academy, you need to have something noteworthy. Or, at least, have great entrance exams or something as such. I don't like that your character has a title. But you can keep it if you want... it just doesn't make much sense. Perhaps you can add extra details around that. Tell it as a part of the history of your character. Something that earns you a title would be a noteworthy event. Who calls you by that title, as well?

Your violin cannot do magical things to other people. At most, I would say it could be fascinating to people, but that's from a musical standpoint, not from a magical standpoint.

Landing a shot on a target 500 meters away with a pistol is insane. A pistol's typical range is a 1/10th of that. If your revolver had a scope, you could probably get it higher, but not 500 meters. I'd let you have 100 meters without a scope.

So your weakness for your semblance is fine. However, you need another weakness specific to your person. Perhaps he can't concentrate under pressure, or something like that.

Your semblance is potentially too powerful. Change the wording to explain that you cannot materialize the materials, but you can form walls of dirt from out of the ground.

These walls are made of dirt, and often top soil dirt. As such, they wouldn't be very durable. You cannot reshape objects like trees or stone, but you can control stone. You could take a rock and move it around, or make a wall out of smaller rocks. You cannot reshape the rocks though, but you can move them. You can't control a tree. A tree is about 50% water, which would contradict your semblance weakness regarding water.

First weapon is fine, except the history. You have it so your character crafted it, but it took 4 years to craft for each piece of the weapon. How many pieces are there? because your character is only 17, meaning if there was only one piece and it took 4 years total, you would have been under 13 years while digging the tunnels in the volcano to clear lava out.

Weapons typically don't take that many years to make. 10 years for the second weapon is also quite long.

koop..i can agree to change things but you are seriously, taking in way to much thought into this. i will agree to change some things cause i agree that some parts dont make sense but seriously, your just taking way to much thought into it. the history for my character makes sense. The way you talk about it just makes it seem like you just dont like my character's past. and quite frankly. your giving me a bit of a headache. My semblance isnt that OP if you think about it rationally. but i will change that up a bit. But really if you think thats op then come on. ive heard and seen other people semblances that have been approved and some of those seem op. But really your not being fair with almost anything ive put. i will edit as soon as this reply is sent. P.S. my revolver uses custom "408.caliber" shells. 408. can send a bullet farther than 500m its total range can be a total of 1000m-1500m that would be OP. Thats why i chose 500m. but i am being truthful in saying this, try to be nicer. when i read your reply it just straight out seems like your say "i hate all of this it makes absolute no sense lets just keep making him change things" sorry but thats how you make it seem.

I'm trying to help you make a profile that is solid. There are inconsistencies and things that make no sense given the setting of these forums. This isn't a setting where anything goes. There are limits to things and canon to follow, and we are trying to make sure that they are followed at least reasonably.

Your semblance is worded in ways that can be very, very overpowered. With the wording you have, you could easily construct an unbreakable wall of earth whenever you want. Or, reshape a forest to look like a pony. I'm not saying your semblance is wrong, I'm saying it needs to be more clear on its abilities and limitations.

That's acceptable with the 408 caliber part. I don't know tons about firearms and that field. However, my point still stands that firing a revolver 500 meters and nailing the shot with nothing but iron sights is not exactly easy. Or hard. Or super hard. My cellphone is pretty big, and even using that as "the smallest target from 500m", I'd barely even be able to see it without the sights of a gun blocking my view.

ive made the changes and a tad bit more and sorry if i was being rube im just grumpy when im tired

Okay. I'm just going to go through and list all of the things I don't like or don't understand, and then add a note if it's fine to leave them as is. You may think we're being unreasonable, but if we legitimately don't understand something or don't think it fits in the RWBY universe, we're probably going to point it out.

Starting at the top...

Appearance:
[*] What exactly is an iron moon? Is the X pupil for the wolf's eye?
[*] 5.9 what? 133 what?

History:
[*] The Violin isn't actually made of iron, just appears to be coated in it?
[*] What exactly is the sound of nostalgia?
[*] Aura, not magic. Otherwise that's relatively okay, I suppose.
[*] Wording here is a little messy, maybe 'Ivan died after teaching Night everything, Night then traveled to Beacon.
[*] You don't need to be a Faunus to earn a title like that, though a little more detail on HOW he got the title would be great.
[*] I'm mostly okay with the part of the history about his Semblance, though more on that later.
[*] I'm also okay with him being transferred from Sanctum, though I feel the wording here is messy as well
[*] This mask seems to have appeared from nowhere. Where does it fit in from his past?

Personality:
[*] Only real problem here is the violin. It's not counted in your weapons, but the way I'm reading it here makes it sound like it could be.

Strengths:
[*] I don't like 'hit the smallest target' part here. With no scope, you wouldn't even be able to see that far with the naked eye, let alone hit a small target.

Weaknesses:
[*] The earth around you, the air around you, etc. always contain moisture. This is a problem.
[*] Being caught off guard is technically a weakness for anyone, but whatever.
[*] Semblance range should be a downfall of the Semblance.

Semblance:
[*] Dirt or sand should be the only things this works on, in my opinion.
[*] How large is a medium sized structure?
[*] I don't like the 'turning stone to sand' part at all. Glass to sand? Maybe. MAYBE.

Weapon:
[*] Primary form is fine, though I don't like the quicksand bullets, at all.
[*] How the hell does a revolver of any kind become a bladed weapon of any kind?
[*] Dust isn't really a currency, but I can understand trading and such. This is fine.

Weapon 2:
[*] How does he manage to carry a 7 foot long katana at age 17?
[*] What exactly is a curved, straight edge?
[*] No Aura channeling, period.
[*] Pulse wave is fine, as long as you specify that you're using dust during these attacks.
[*] It was passed down from Ivan, but only mentioned now? I'd like it added to history.
[*] The blade only works with fire dust, but just above you said it depends?

I have some other smaller issues that I'm willing to let slide, these are just the main ones.

ok......i tried being as nice as possible to you guys as best could but honestly...1:you over think literally way to much not even bothering to understand what most of the stuff means. 2: Amber just...the weapons in the world of rwby can vary from pretty much anything, so it shouldnt be so freaking shocking that a revolver an turn into a katana. 3: im honestly sick of the way you judge my character from top to bottom. theres absolutely no freaking problem from most of the things but seriously all your doing is making my character into what you want it to be. Your practically enforcing it. 4: ik your nice people but really, in the world they live in normal physics dont even bother to apply. 5: i was hoping to actually get a chance to join but all i see is admins you cant grasp a simple concept of a world that is so very very different from ares, where our science just scratches theres.

im saying this cause i dont even want to come back to this site anymore if all im going to get is the misconception of understanding the simplest of details. im honestly tired of going back and forth from editing. and amber, ITS FREAKING OBVIOUS ON WHAT MY EMBLEM IS. its a what it says it is, its a iron moon"made of iron" with a wolf eye in the middle of it where the eye's pupil is the shape of an X. once again i am sorry but i really did try to be nice but if all your going to do is criticize every single freaking detail. you might as well just stop being admins cause literally half of this entire site is full of OP power houses. still sorry im trying to be nice as possible with this reply....oh almost forgot, amber think a freaking bout it. you listen to a song, it makes you remember something good or bad sometimes. the sound of nostalgia was a phrase as to when my character plays his violin, the music from it makes people remember the good memories they have "p.s. it doesn't force them to do it. i say this so you don't over think (make)"....thats all i have to say, or was that to much to add?

edited a lot and still sorry for all i said :/

Hey Night, nice profile. But there are a few things that could/need to be adjusted a bit.

I'm going to divide this up into two sections. The first is minor little things that don't affect the approval of the character but do affect readability. The second section is bigger things that I feel need to be adjusted.

Minor things:
You've got "formal" twice when describing your shoes.

In the history after Ivan dies you mention that Night never played the Violin again, but in the personality mention that he loves playing his violin Black Moon. I believe you meant never played piano again.

In Gold Rodger you say that it "...it houses 6 custom..." i'd suggest changing that out to "...It can load up to 6 custom..." reason being for me personally when I hear the former it sounds like they are constantly in the gun.

Is RWM a two handed or one handed sword?

In RWM change the last sentence from "...fires a pulse wave of fire dust..." to just "fires a wave of fire..."

Also with the weakness, be sure to play the last caught off guard part actually.

Major things:
There really is only one thing in here that I feel needs to adjusted before I'll give my one approval. This is the strength about being able to hit the smallest target 500 meters away.
As koop stated a few posts ago it wouldn't really be possible to do this with the sights in the way. However looking at this I realize a flaw in our thinking, your strength is a general thing not just with gold rodger, though primarily with that weapon.

So the change I propose is this: when using a iron sights Night can score a 21 with 3 shots 9 times out of 10 at 500 meters. (While still slightly improbably in real life i'd be able to believe this.) When using a weapon with a scope Night can score 27 with 3 shots 9 times out of 10 at 1000 meters, depending on the scope some allow him to the same accuracy at a longer distances. Additionally when not aiming down the sights of a gun Night can score a 30 with 3 shots 8 times out of 10 at 150 meters.

How does that sound Night? And the 9 and 8 times out of 10 is just basically to throw in that he's human, there can be some variability with his accuracy.

that actually sounds really good i, sorry for most of the typing issues i tend to think a head as i write but yeah i can see where your going with the human thing heh. i tend not to think of most things like that so i guess i did make my character seem a little inhuman. I'll start editing when i get home.

i have made the edits and i change the strength a bit but i may change the weakness think a bit cause the caught off guard part sounds a bit strange for him. let me know if that would be ok

I am fine with this. Approval 1/2

Approved 2/2