| Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) | |
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Drake Ferrox Moderator
Posts : 642 Join date : 2013-09-20 Location : Hull, England
| Subject: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Tue Oct 22, 2013 9:39 pm | |
| The time is approximately one week after Between The Angels And Insects. The Location - The Cliffs.Time heals all things, or so they say. Drake was not, at present, believing this to be true. He had accepted his situation. He had accepted Indigo's decision. He had accepted that she was happy. But the past week in their Dorm had been...awkward. Not as bad as it had been but he still felt ashamed that he was a Team Leader who often slipped away from his own team. He lets out another frustrated sigh, slumping up against that same tree, looking out at the horizon. Why could things never be simple? The problems he had with being around other people...watching other people. Soon enough he began to feel isolated. Alone. Not that this wasn't always his way. But sometimes? Sometimes he didn't want to be like this. Still, she was happy. Her choice. Her decision. He would have to accept that. Once again he closes his eyes, leg fully healed though he still wears the armoured brace. His own choice in the matter. His own way of remembering what had been. An opportunity lost because he couldn't say what he truly felt.Perhaps this day he would get his peace... | |
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Shemskis
Posts : 2044 Join date : 2013-09-11 Age : 34
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Tue Oct 22, 2013 9:46 pm | |
| Shem was glad he decided to take a walk by the cliffs. It was his favorite spot.with his hands in his pockets, with a lollipop in his mouth, nothing seemed to bother him. The thought of him and Indigo made him smile. Upon reaching a part of the cliffs, he sees the person from the dorm room when Shem was degenerating. | |
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Drake Ferrox Moderator
Posts : 642 Join date : 2013-09-20 Location : Hull, England
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Tue Oct 22, 2013 9:50 pm | |
| Of course, no one ever gets peace when they want it. He should know this by this point. It's effectively some sort of universal law as far as this place is concerned. Once more he hears the footsteps. The noise of the lolipop. The noise of another nearby.
One eye opens and he frowns, just a little. Last time he had tried to be stealthy, to avoid being spotted. This time? No such luck. Without knowing who it actually is he speaks, loud enough to be heard though there is no malice in his voice, no anger.
"It would seem this place is not as good a spot for peaceful meditations as I have been led to believe." | |
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Shemskis
Posts : 2044 Join date : 2013-09-11 Age : 34
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Tue Oct 22, 2013 9:55 pm | |
| Shem tilts his head in confusion. "Um, are you talking to me?" He looks around to see if anyone else is around, then back at Drake. | |
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Drake Ferrox Moderator
Posts : 642 Join date : 2013-09-20 Location : Hull, England
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Tue Oct 22, 2013 10:06 pm | |
| "Who else would I be talking to? The birds?"
He sighs and turns, looking to Shem and then frowning. Him. Still, he knew this moment was coming. He'd been fortunate to be looking away or leaving whenever Shem came to their dorm for Indigo but he knew that sooner or later he would have to speak with him. To actually start moving on.
"Ah...you. I knew this was going to come about one of these days..." | |
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Shemskis
Posts : 2044 Join date : 2013-09-11 Age : 34
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Tue Oct 22, 2013 10:07 pm | |
| Shem stands there confused as all hell. "Um.....what?" | |
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Drake Ferrox Moderator
Posts : 642 Join date : 2013-09-20 Location : Hull, England
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Tue Oct 22, 2013 10:09 pm | |
| Of course. He had no idea about any of this. He was probably blissfully unaware of how he even felt about Indigo. He sighs and shakes his head, reaching to his belt and pulling out an armoured case, getting a pocky stick and chewing on it carefully.
"...You didn't know. Did you?" | |
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Shemskis
Posts : 2044 Join date : 2013-09-11 Age : 34
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Tue Oct 22, 2013 10:14 pm | |
| "Didnt know what?" Shem had no idea what this guy is talking about. "Listen, I dont want trouble. Its been a rough few days." Shem puts up his hands. | |
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Drake Ferrox Moderator
Posts : 642 Join date : 2013-09-20 Location : Hull, England
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Tue Oct 22, 2013 10:18 pm | |
| At this Drake pinches the top of his nose and sighs. This was going to be even more frustrating than dealing with the one who did know how he felt about her. He shakes his head again and frowns, taking a more serious approach to this. Last time... He had let emotion get the better of him. Not today.
"There isn't going to be any trouble. But...we may as well talk. About something we have in common. Come on. Sit down. If I don't do this now all it's going to do is make things with my team even more awkward." | |
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Shemskis
Posts : 2044 Join date : 2013-09-11 Age : 34
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Tue Oct 22, 2013 10:20 pm | |
| Shem cautiously walks over and sits down at the edge of the cliff. "As long as you dont push me...Ill sit here..." Shem keeps his eyes on Drake. | |
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Drake Ferrox Moderator
Posts : 642 Join date : 2013-09-20 Location : Hull, England
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Tue Oct 22, 2013 10:24 pm | |
| He laughs at that, a short, harsh sound as he shakes his head. Then, carefully chewing the pocky he speaks, looking out over the horizon. "I couldn't do that. It would hurt her and I can't allow that to happen." There is an awkward moment, an awkward pause and he carefully tilts the armoured case of pocky toward Shem.
"If you hadn't figured it out...what we have in common is Indigo. No, I'm not here to criticise you. Or shout at you. Or anything like that. Just..." He frowns a moment. Words were difficult when they had to be applied to a situation like this.
"I just want to know how you feel about her. I want to know that you'll keep her safe. I want to know that the Memory won't haunt me.." | |
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Shemskis
Posts : 2044 Join date : 2013-09-11 Age : 34
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Tue Oct 22, 2013 10:31 pm | |
| Shem puts up a hand, denying pocky as he has a lollipop in his mouth. Upon hearing Indigo's name, he smiles and looks out to the horizon with Drake. "Indigo is a special girl alright..." He looks over at Drake, "I dont even know who you are...but Ill tell you how I feel, if that's what you want." | |
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Drake Ferrox Moderator
Posts : 642 Join date : 2013-09-20 Location : Hull, England
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Tue Oct 22, 2013 10:36 pm | |
| How was he supposed to put this...? He nods, encouraging Shem to continue as he frowns to himself. He knew he should say something. "I'm...her team leader." Silently he cursed himself for not saying more than that. Such a cold, mechanical response. But then, that's the reason it never worked out in the first place.
He didn't feel. He was broken. He would listen to Shem, careful not to let Shem's obvious joy at his relationship get to him. And part of him would hate it. He was alone. Isolated even in his own team. The silent one most of the time. The one who kept his cool during assignments and logically found solutions. The one that didn't really know how to feel anything but anger.
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Shemskis
Posts : 2044 Join date : 2013-09-11 Age : 34
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Tue Oct 22, 2013 10:45 pm | |
| Shem sighs. "Leader, huh?" Shem looks out to the horizon. "Well, I only know Indigo for a little while now but she's somethin'. I have had a bad past in relationships but I think this one is going to be great. Im going to make sure it will be. Indigo is a beautiful young woman and she has a lot of potential. Would I do anything for her? Of course. She saved my life multiple times already. Do I love her? Possibly. Shes the girl that I would sacrifice anything to make sure she is safe. Hell, even Ragnarok likes her...and that's weird." | |
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Drake Ferrox Moderator
Posts : 642 Join date : 2013-09-20 Location : Hull, England
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Tue Oct 22, 2013 10:49 pm | |
| He sighs, listening and frowning still as he tries to figure out how he was going to say what he wanted. This was remarkably more difficult than he thought it would be. Still, Shem did seem genuine. His concern for her was enough to keep the Frenzy at bay. It could have been much, much worse.
"I see..." Another frustrating moment where he failed to saw what he had wanted. He shakes his head and lowers his gaze. "Possibly. I see. Well...you are the one she chose. I suppose because you could say what you felt. You are not broken. I can live with that." Acceptance. How he hated it. But he knew it was necessary. This is who he was. And now, this was his responsibility. Look out for the team. Do not let emotions hamper your ability to lead...to protect. | |
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Shemskis
Posts : 2044 Join date : 2013-09-11 Age : 34
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Tue Oct 22, 2013 10:55 pm | |
| "Broken? I dont know. I have a self aware aura. Another me, so to speak and as I use it, I get closer to death, so you can say I'm broken." Shem looks over at the gentlemen and smiles. "But I wouldnt worry, as long as Indigo is in my life and as long as she is there for me, Ill make sure Ill be alive to be there for her, for as long as I can." | |
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Drake Ferrox Moderator
Posts : 642 Join date : 2013-09-20 Location : Hull, England
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Tue Oct 22, 2013 11:02 pm | |
| He had missed the point altogether. He smiles and sighs, then just decides that the blunt approach is perhaps the best approach. Perhaps he was being too subtle about this.
"I'm Drake...for the record. I'm one who she didn't choose. But I can live with that. Broken as I am, I can live with her being happy." | |
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Shemskis
Posts : 2044 Join date : 2013-09-11 Age : 34
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Tue Oct 22, 2013 11:04 pm | |
| "Ohhhhhh....." Shem realized who he is talking to. "Um...well..Im Shem..." Shem was speechless now. He's talking to the guy who also liked Indigo. "Well, I hope she is happy..." Shem stares into the horizon awkwardly trying to not make things more awkward as looking at the guy, | |
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Drake Ferrox Moderator
Posts : 642 Join date : 2013-09-20 Location : Hull, England
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Tue Oct 22, 2013 11:15 pm | |
| "She is. She is happy with you. If she wasn't I probably would have eviscerated you by this point."
That statement is made cold. Matter of fact, blunt, no hint of a joke whatsoever. But after a moment he laughs and shakes his head. "As it is...knowing how you feel about her, I feel compelled to make sure that no harm comes to you, as it would only hurt her more." Why was it that he was better at speaking when there was a definite, final answer?
"I need to know...how far would you go to protect her?" He looks at Shem, frowning a moment as he considers him. This too could pose problems. | |
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Shemskis
Posts : 2044 Join date : 2013-09-11 Age : 34
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Wed Oct 23, 2013 4:18 am | |
| "Well...I'm glad..." Shem responds as he was threatened (?) to keep her happy. Shem's face straightens. "How far will I go?" Shem thinks for a second. "Let's put it this way. I agree with you, If I die, It will hurt her. But I will make sure she is safe. 100%. I would sacrifice myself for her. I will degenerate before harm comes to her."
((typed this at 4 AM, all i got at the moment)) | |
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Drake Ferrox Moderator
Posts : 642 Join date : 2013-09-20 Location : Hull, England
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Wed Oct 23, 2013 12:50 pm | |
| This response is met with a frown, then a scowl as he shakes his head. Shem was a fool. After a moment he speaks, his usual tone of seriousness present. This stopped being awkward. And when it did his emotions shut off. Now he could think...
"Then you would be a fool. Do not go so far as to die for her Shem. Go so far to live for her. As I said, I am now in a position where you are as important as she is. As such you need to live as much as she does. Thus you are in no position to die."
He looks to Shem, the black eyes showing the faintest glimmer of the deep blue that lay at their core. The faintest sign of the Frenzy, stirred by this train of thought but kept under control.
"Leave dying to the broken ones." | |
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Shemskis
Posts : 2044 Join date : 2013-09-11 Age : 34
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Wed Oct 23, 2013 1:45 pm | |
| "You're confusing Drake." Shem looks at Drake with suspicion. "Ill make sure Im there for her all the time. I will live for her, as you say but if I am ever in a position that its me or her to die. Im going to pick me..." | |
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Drake Ferrox Moderator
Posts : 642 Join date : 2013-09-20 Location : Hull, England
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Wed Oct 23, 2013 1:53 pm | |
| He laughs for but a moment, shaking his head. No. Now he had another part to haunt him in the Memory. He would not give Shem that choice. If ever there was such a moment he would move himself for them both. After all...that was the nature of leadership. The good of others, despite your own broken soul.
"Then know I will do everything in my power to deny you that fate. You make her happy...I can see it in the way she acts. As such you are not broken." He was confusing in his own way. But he shrugs as he nibbles on a stick of pocky, then casually offers the armoured case sideways once more. "You're also lighter than you appear. Just going to throw that out." | |
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Shemskis
Posts : 2044 Join date : 2013-09-11 Age : 34
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Wed Oct 23, 2013 3:16 pm | |
| "Well I know I'm not heavy. Nor I want to be. Why is being light important to you?" | |
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Drake Ferrox Moderator
Posts : 642 Join date : 2013-09-20 Location : Hull, England
| Subject: Re: Between the Demons and Worms. Zen Meditations II (Closed) Wed Oct 23, 2013 3:22 pm | |
| "No reason. Just a comment. I'm the one...who dragged you into that room that day. I also perhaps owe Mao an apology for the damage done to his wall."
There is the slightest hint of guilt there and he coughs, quickly burying it. It was not a memory he wanted to linger on. He'd lashed out in anger and he'd broken so very hard that day. The damage Aoife had caused was nothing to the pain he was already in before then. But that had happened. It could not change.
"I will say...if you need to pop by our dorm for Indigo though...don't feel that I'm against it. I know things have been awkward the past few weeks. But it's just a case of me needing to get my thoughts in order. This has helped in its own way..." | |
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