BIRDIE NO!!

There were not a few strange looks given to the, erm... person who skipped through the park, singing.

Ami, as usual, didn't care, swinging xir arms as xe went along, leaving little trails of peanuts that flew from the bag xe held in the grass along the brick walkways as xe went. "All the world seems in tune, on a fall afternoon," xe swung the bag a bit, leaving a few more near a tree, "when we're poisoning pigeons in the park!"

Goddamn pigeons. Entirely too often, xe would come back from shore leave to see the Phoenicia covered in bird poop, forever cementing xir hatred of the little bastards. Xe would post people who had been denied shore leave to chase them off, but that just made the sailors start to behave! Which... was also good, but it covered xir ship in poop!

The Phoenicia was no longer xir problem, but xe was still a naval officer, and every ship in the fleet, on air or sea, deserved protection, and s o xe skipped and sang, spreading peanuts as xe went. "Every shore leave you'll see, my shipmates and me, as we poison the pigeons in the park! When they see us coming, the birdies all try and hide..." Spotting a statue surrounded by trees, a prime sport for the little poop pots, xe approached, grabbing a light pole and spinning around it on xir way. "... but they still go for peanuts when coated in cyanide..."

Xe ignored the glares as xe skipped around the statue, emptying the bag.

"The sun's shining bright, everything seems all right, when we're poi~soning pigeons, in the paaaaaaaaaark!!"

Xe casually tossed the bag in a nearby trash can, whistling the rest of the song as xe sat down and waited for the stupid birds to show up.

As Zangretor made his way down the path, continuously gobbling down the apparently free peanuts left behind on the ground, he wondered what kind of idiot would ever leave their food around so carelessly. It wasn't like it mattered, he and Taabrea could eat for the night, even if the peanuts tasted like sidewalk and... something that he was sure peanuts shouldn't taste like. He followed the trail until its end near a bench where someone was singing. "Hey, did you leave all these lying around?" Zangretor asked. "They're frickin terrible, buy better ones next time."

Ami looked at the crazy man who was, apparently, now part of her crew.

Then xe looked at the peanuts left on the ground.

Then xir eyes drifted back to the man xe had poisoned because he ate food off the ground.

"One," xe said, crossing xir arms, "you still need to learn to salute. Two, you just ruined my plan to poison all the pigeons. Three, I'm not going to use good peanuts to poison pigeons. Now go lie down under the statue, and don't throw up."

"Salu- Oh... yeah, now I remember you. If you say so, uh... Captain..." Zangretor sloppily flings his right hand to his forehead before quickly extending it forward. He stands for a moment before smiling as he comes to a realization. "So, you're trying to kill pigeons? I could do it for you. I'd just require a bit of monetary compensation. It'll cost more if you want it done cleanly, otherwise who knows how wrecked this place'll get. Whaddya say? 50 lien for the clean job, 20 for the quick sweep." He has apparently ignored Ami's warning about the poison, though he doesn't seem to be suffering any ill effects at the moment.

"... Fourty lien, done cleanly, and I'll deduct the cost of the poison you ate that was meant to do the job that you wrecked." Ami kept xir arms crossed. "Also, you can eat the pigeons since you removed much of the poison, so that should factor in. You'll get some money for decent, non-pigeon burger food."

Xe started tilting xir head back and forth.

"Taaaaake it or leeeeeeave it, and be happy I don't just pull rank on the matter~."

Zangretor scowled. He didn't expect a military captain to have any bargaining experience. But at the same time, he was too hungry and poor to refuse. "Tch, fine. Give me a few minutes to mark my targets." Zangretor focused his mind inward, using his aura and extra direction from Taabrea to seek out all living things in the area. After 3 minutes he had found every pigeon in the park and was ready to strike. "Hunter's Jaws." Zangretor spoke aloud, recollecting the bits of aura he had used as markers. After a few more seconds, even more aura launched out of his body, encircling each of the pigeons and dragging them together, in one large aura bubble high above the park. Abandoning the focus he had maintained for the past few minutes, Zangretor began laughing maniacally, pulling the large metal tube from his back and expanding it into its full rocket launcher form. "BOOM!" He yelled, pulling the trigger. A large missile filled with fire dust soared straight up, finding its way into a gap Zangretor had left as an entry point before exploding and engulfing all the contained pigeons in a wave of fire. "Little tip," Zangretor said, slinging his weapon back over his shoulder, "Burning them so quickly ruins the outside, but they're so tiny that the very core is still mostly edible. With this many, I can have a pretty good meal. Just hope I incinerated most of the feathers." Zangretor continued his laughter as the flaming bubble descended and evaporated, leaving a small pile of burnt bird flesh in its wake.

Ami just watched, unamused, before sighing.

"And now you have to clean that up. But since you're going to eat them all, I'll just tell you not to litter. Because that's bad."

Xe reached into xir pants, pulling out a wallet and tossing a very low denomination lien chit at Zangretor, before hopping up.

"Also, that was, like... super noisy. So I deducted some of your reward off for noise pollution. That, minus the poison, leaves you about ten lien." Ami lifted one foot up, spinning slowly on the remaining leg from the momentum. "But, that can get you enough lentils to go with your pigeon meat to make some nice soup if you use a hobo can stove."

Xir wings peeked from xir coat, as Ami's aura surged and xe hopped up into the branches of a tree, looking down as xe sat.

"HEY, since you're kinda dumb, but ultimately my responsibility, and a valuable meat bullet to shoot at pirates, do you want some cooking lessons?"

Zangretor caught the meager change and glared angrily at it. "Seriously... THIS is what we get... Heh... that's a pretty terrible joke, captain. I've made more than this from distracting a street vendor during a small-time heist. What kind of crap is this?" Zangretor scoops up the pile of immolated pigeons and turns away. "You're lucky I can't get into trouble until this whole pirate thing is over. Man, I'd love to break all your limbs and just watch as Taabrea rips your heart out. I can see it now, you're pretty tiny, I bet it wouldn't even be that messy. Kekekekeke... Now I'm just excited over nothing, like I already said, it can't happen just yet." As Zangretor is about to walk off, he turns back once more. "Oh, yeah, one last thing. Just because I'll eat whatever crap I can get, doesn't mean I can't cook. Who knows, maybe you'll end up in one of my stews someday." Zangretor smiles menacingly before taking a seat on a bench a ways away and picking through the mass of feathers for anything edible.

"Hmph. You say you can cook, but you were in that inn begging for food. You scoff at ten dollars, when if you're left behind by a ship, with just the change in your pocket in a foreign port, you might only have that to live on."

Ami's childish kicking of xir legs stopped, and xe looked down at Zangretor.

"You might know how to make a couple dishes, but you starving in that inn? Tells me you don't know how to COOK."

Shinobu was on her way back to her apartment at Vale Heights when she spotted a large man and a small women conversing.

In a moment, "BOOM!" several birds around them burst into flames.


'Just who I was looking for' thought Shinobu, as she began to walk towards the two.

"Hey big guy, are you Zangretor?" she asked.

"You runt, how dare you insult my cooking skills! I may have been sheltered for 16 years, but that doesn't mean I didn't bother learning anything when I finally got out! How was I supposed to get ingredients? Whose kitchen is a fresh immigrant gonna use? Tch, not everyone gets a military leader's salary, ya know." Zangretor says, chewing some of the pigeon meat. Not long after, he hears a question from off to the side. Looking over he recognizes the hunter woman from the pub. This was definitely the last thing he needed. A tiny, insulting captain with a side of international head hunter for dessert. Sighing, he responded, "Yeah, I am. Why do you care? I'm guessing it's not cause you wanna spend the night back at my apartment, right? Too bad, that'd almost make talking to this chibi-sized freak worth it."

"And where would you get ingredients in that foreign port, or a place to cook." Ami hooked xir knees around the branch, falling back and swinging around to look at the newcomer, waving upside down before letting go and spinning on xir center of gravity to land gracefully on xir feet.

Nearby, several squirrels applauded and held up acorns. Or at least, so Ami wanted to pretend, despite the squirrels doing absolutely no such thing.

"I mean, from how I've been talking, you'd almost think the situation I described actually happened many years ago..." Ami laughed, sighing a bit after. "You can scrounge up junk cuts from butchers, if you speak the language. You can make a remarkably effective can stove out of junk you can find lying around, and use discarded newspaper to boil water in a crude pot made from one of those big cans restaurants throw out, and make a good soup."

Ami started at a light pole, spinning around as xe smiled.

"Your starvation was a lack of knowledge in practice. Aaaaand a bit charisma, but lack of knowledge was a big one." As xe slowed and stopped, Ami was facing the newcomer. "What do you think? Do you think he should learn how to cook?" Xe jerked xir thumb at Zangretor.

"Well, big guy, maybe if you ask nicely..." Shinobu walks closer to him.

Well that was dumb, he had just invited this likely bounty hunter to walk right up to him. In the meantime, the tiniest captain was still blabbering on insulting him. The captain was technically on his side, so dealing with the hunter might be easier if he got straight to it. "You know what, Taabrea? You've always been better at this whole communication thing. I'll leave it up to you." Zangretor retreated back into his own mind as Taabrea took control. Ignoring the captain, Taabrea inquired to Shinobu, "So, what is it that you want with us?" As he spoke, he silently activated his Mal Forma, showing no outward signs of aggression, though the full might of his aura was raging just beneath the skin.

Shinobu suddenly halted her advance towards the large man at the sign of a slight pressure in the air.

"Tch, I guess you're not as dumb as you look, big guy. How boring" with a playful smile.

"Anyway, I'm here to pass on a message from the recruiter from the Great Huntress. We're to report back in a week."

She turned and began walking away, when she stopped.

"Oh, and big guy, I'm staying at the Vale Heights. And maybe if you do ask nicely..." she chuckled and continued to walk.

As Shinobu walked away, Taabrea began to speak to Zangretor. "You should stop relying on me to do all of our important talking. Constantly relying on the intervention of a deity is irresponsible." Taabrea returned his aura to normal and gave control back to Zangretor. "Yeah, yeah, whatever." He began. "That was too close, I'm pretty sure she could even sense your special ability. We came here for a challenge, but if people here are that good we might not be as invincible as we thought." He stood for awhile, thinking, before tossing the now cold pile of pigeon meat into a trash bin. "Oh well, I'm sure we can still beat anyone of the people we've met so far." Zangretor turns to walk away, forgetting that the tiny captain he was arguing with is still present.

Ami just watched the crazy man go, a complely neutral look on xir face as xe looked down at a pidgeon swallowing one of the remaining poisoned peanuts, and immediately falling over dead.

"So that was a thing," xe said, sighing as xe went back to the bench and sat down.

Slowly, things returned to normal in the park, after the crazy man's fireworks display, save the few pigeons dropping, and Ami looked up at the sky. "... I forgot where I parked..."