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 Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]

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Drake Ferrox
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PostSubject: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeFri Oct 11, 2013 7:34 pm

The time is approximately three days after Drakoife incident. Much has been rebuilt. We do not talk about the Nurse. No. We do not.

Drake glances about, carefully, having spent some time watching people's movements so as to predict a suitable moment when he didn't have classes...and was not likely to walk into someone's romantic moment. Not that the second part bothered him...much. It's just that there were certain triggers still very active around the campus that he did not need to encounter in the state he was in.

Sure, his leg was in a much better condition then it had been in before...healed partially through aura techniques...but it still needed to be supported by the scratch made frame he had hastily assembled. As he carefully walks toward the cliffs from the campus it can be seen, an odd half gait where every few steps he seems to skip one, dragging his leg slightly. There is a clink of metal as the armoured plates sway ever so slightly, bound in place by silvered chains. He'd taken some time to work on the patterning across them...a roughly carved dragonscale. It still needed some work.

The Talons are absent, stored in his dorm room rather than the lockers. He still was doing some work to them...soon enough he would be modifying the blades themselves, attempting to make them somewhat retractable...or at least capable of sliding back so he could grab things without the risk of skewering someone. The abundance of people around him recently had made things much more awkward.

He looks about and lets out what can only be a happy sounding sigh as he slumps down against a tree, careful not to put too much strain on the leg. It annoyed him still...he'd already been somewhat drained, his reserves lower than they normally were when the Incident occurred. Not at the top of his game. He shakes his head, pulling the crimson scarf-mask down, taking a deep breath and then carefully closing his eyes.

Peace and quiet. He needed this. He was of course somewhat disappointed that some he thought cared...didn't so much. But he was getting past that moment of bestial jealousy and spite. He was getting past that lapse of emotion. He realised that it was a dangerous path to go down, one that only unsettled things.

Melissa still unsettled things. Her odd nature was acceptable though. But he was not sure what as...whatever that powder had been had caused some confusion. Of course, getting past the ever present Angel of Destruction was going to be a problem.

But not now.

Now he would meditate. Calm himself. Restore himself.

He hoped.

________________________________
Drake Ferrox - Leader of Team DISC - "Even Monsters can be made to know fear!"

Sora Amethyst - Dater of Fayza -  "Yay! Mayhem! Ears! Pettings of ears!"

Aperahama Jones - Lion of the world - "...And that's how I lost my eye to some corn on the cob!"
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeSat Oct 12, 2013 7:38 pm

Indigo jogs up to the cliff in her running outfit. She takes a drink from a water bottle before trotting up to the edge. Looking out at the distance, she recollects on her life; things were going well, mostly. There were still a few loose ends that needed tying up. In fact, though she hadn't noticed him, one was sitting just several feet away from her.
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeSat Oct 12, 2013 7:51 pm

Of course, the whole point of coming out to the cliffs in such isolation was the silence itself. With his eyes closed his other senses picked up the slack...he heard the sounds of the birds, the sea, the rustling of the grass...and then the footsteps. The slosh of water in a bottle. And that is sufficient to stir him, just a little.

There is sound as he moves, the clink of metal, both from the armoured plates that shifted normally and from the metal of the leg brace as he moved his leg in, trying to get himself in a position where he didn't feel exposed. It was a natural reaction for him. A combat reaction. He'd consigned himself in the few days of rest so far to the knowledge that...emotions...really weren't something for him. They never could be since the...Incident when he was younger.

To try and force them was foolish.

________________________________
Drake Ferrox - Leader of Team DISC - "Even Monsters can be made to know fear!"

Sora Amethyst - Dater of Fayza -  "Yay! Mayhem! Ears! Pettings of ears!"

Aperahama Jones - Lion of the world - "...And that's how I lost my eye to some corn on the cob!"
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeSun Oct 13, 2013 11:02 pm

The sound of metal clinking makes Indigo jump slightly, whipping her head in the direction of the noise. After realizing she was in no danger she closes her eyes and sighs audibly. "Afternoon, Drake. Nice day huh?"
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeSun Oct 13, 2013 11:09 pm

"I...suppose so."

This was awkward. And the sigh itself. Yeah. Awkward for them both. He knew exactly why. But he couldn't just sit here and avoid it. For a moment he hesistates and then shakes his head, pushing himself up against the tree. They couldn't keep avoiding eachother like this. He had to accept it. He had to accept that in the end, she chose Shem.

"I...honestly hadn't expected anyone else here at this time. Small world, huh?"

________________________________
Drake Ferrox - Leader of Team DISC - "Even Monsters can be made to know fear!"

Sora Amethyst - Dater of Fayza -  "Yay! Mayhem! Ears! Pettings of ears!"

Aperahama Jones - Lion of the world - "...And that's how I lost my eye to some corn on the cob!"
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeSun Oct 20, 2013 4:13 pm

Indigo sits down next to Drake. A very disheartening move considering in any other situation she would have climbed the tree. "Yeah. Small world." She sighs and leans her head back against the tree. "So I heard you blew up the courtyard. Dare I ask why."
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeSun Oct 20, 2013 4:21 pm

He lets out a quiet sigh, looking down for the moment and then glancing back toward Indigo. It had been...an awkward past few days. He'd been deliberately avoiding her in the dorm. Spending too much time away from his own team. For a moment he is silent and then he speaks, carefully.

"You know why." How else was he supposed to explain this? He lost her...largely due to the fact he was too emotionally ruined to actually...show her. But now he was having to accept it. She had made her choice.

"And initially all I did was...vent my frustration on a wall. I...did a foolish thing which lead to me being attacked. And that was collateral." How was he supposed to say this? How was he supposed to ask her? Was she happy? He was by nature responsible, controlled, calm. He was the thinker. The tactician. The calm one under fire. He knew his responsibility to his teammates.

"I'm...sorry. Sorry I couldn't actually express...anything right."

________________________________
Drake Ferrox - Leader of Team DISC - "Even Monsters can be made to know fear!"

Sora Amethyst - Dater of Fayza -  "Yay! Mayhem! Ears! Pettings of ears!"

Aperahama Jones - Lion of the world - "...And that's how I lost my eye to some corn on the cob!"
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeSun Oct 20, 2013 4:34 pm

Indigo sighs. His answer was something she had hoped not to hear. "Drake... What is it with you lately? You've been so distant. I thought we were friends? I trusted you with my most guarded secret..."
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeSun Oct 20, 2013 4:44 pm

Secrets. Something he had not wanted to share. Something that needed to be shared though. They were a team, weren't they? The others...trusted him to lead them. How could they do so without knowing the truth? He looks down a moment to what lay beyond the cliffs and then, carefully he reaches to one of the armoured cases on his belt.

"We...are friends Indigo. I...thought perhaps...but no..." His voice is confused. Not pained. Not hurt. Confused. Emotions were still an alien thing to him, the result of the incident that had occurred some five years ago. His sister had died. His mind had effectively shut almost all emotion down as a defense mechanism for the trauma. For the guilt.

"I have told...no one else. Perhaps...it is only fair you...see."

From the case he takes out a carefully rolled up newspaper clipping. Or more accurately, a small bundle of them. He passes them over, reluctantly and lowers his eyes as he does so. The picture on them...a family. His family. The story itself on the incident. On the death of Artemis Ferrox, daughter of Minos Ferrox and Lilian Young. The child is...similar to Indigo in appearance. Also similar to her mother...sharing a similar slender build...much like the boy she is stood alongside.

"A secret for a secret. Now you know why...I don't really express much. Apart from anger. I had...perhaps hoped I could...but I could not. And...you chose..."

________________________________
Drake Ferrox - Leader of Team DISC - "Even Monsters can be made to know fear!"

Sora Amethyst - Dater of Fayza -  "Yay! Mayhem! Ears! Pettings of ears!"

Aperahama Jones - Lion of the world - "...And that's how I lost my eye to some corn on the cob!"
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeSun Oct 20, 2013 11:31 pm

"Drake, don't do this. I can't have you worrying about me over this." She pushed away the bundle. "What do you mean "I chose""?
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeSun Oct 20, 2013 11:37 pm

He shakes his head, looking down and trying to calm himself. He came here to rest. He came her to get control of himself back. He had to kill the emotions. He had to kill them again. He puts the bundle down, carefully so, making sure she can see it. Making sure she understands. The Memory.

"You chose him. I suppose...I could never say the words I wanted." There was something off about his voice. Almost something...cold. He was realising the burden of his position. Of his role. He knew what had to be done next. He would hate himself for this.

"I cannot be the one who denies you your choice. I...have to think of the team. I cannot be the one who suffers for this. Tell me this Indigo. Tell me this one thing. Are you happy?" If she was happy...what more could he do? Bury his emotions once more...be strong for her. For their team.

________________________________
Drake Ferrox - Leader of Team DISC - "Even Monsters can be made to know fear!"

Sora Amethyst - Dater of Fayza -  "Yay! Mayhem! Ears! Pettings of ears!"

Aperahama Jones - Lion of the world - "...And that's how I lost my eye to some corn on the cob!"
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeSun Oct 20, 2013 11:48 pm

"Chose him... What!" Indigo stands up looking down at Drake. "You're upset because I'm dating Shem!"
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeSun Oct 20, 2013 11:56 pm

He keeps his gaze lowered. He keeps his eyes averted from hers as hears those words. It was true. After a moment, after a deep breath he looks up at her, black eyes flickering to that stark blue and for a moment he says nothing.

"Yes. But...I cannot remain upset. I...understand. He could say what he wanted. He could tell you...but I could do nothing. Only watch." He pushes himself up against the tree, putting his weight on it as the metal plates clink together, as the leg brace shifts to take some of the pressure.

"But I have to be something more. I have to be a leader. A friend. A...protector. Of you. Of the others. I cannot put my pain before yours. I cannot betray your trust." She didn't know. She didn't know that he had ever...truly..felt that way.

He slumps against the tree and looks down once more. His position was difficult. He had their trust. He couldn't break it...not for something as meaningless as a flit of emotion...

________________________________
Drake Ferrox - Leader of Team DISC - "Even Monsters can be made to know fear!"

Sora Amethyst - Dater of Fayza -  "Yay! Mayhem! Ears! Pettings of ears!"

Aperahama Jones - Lion of the world - "...And that's how I lost my eye to some corn on the cob!"
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeMon Oct 21, 2013 12:06 am

"You act like you lost a competition or something. Drake, you are my friend, you are my teammate, and you are my classmate. You are not my protector."
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeMon Oct 21, 2013 12:11 am

Those words sting. They hurt him. He winces, visibly at that and turns away. She didn't know at all...and he tried to explain but she pushed him away. He sighs and shakes his head, slumping back down against the tree.

"You don't..."

Another sigh and he simply closes his eyes. He wasn't going to be able to explain this. Not conventionally. After a deep breath he speaks again.

"I will protect. It's in my nature. I cannot let it happen again. I cannot let...someone important...die again."

________________________________
Drake Ferrox - Leader of Team DISC - "Even Monsters can be made to know fear!"

Sora Amethyst - Dater of Fayza -  "Yay! Mayhem! Ears! Pettings of ears!"

Aperahama Jones - Lion of the world - "...And that's how I lost my eye to some corn on the cob!"
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeMon Oct 21, 2013 9:53 pm

Indigo slumps down on the grass across from Drake. She was getting a bit frustrated with his attitude. "You're a leader, Drake. You can't let me cloud your thinking. You'll be putting everyone else at risk like that." She starts fiddling with the end of her pony tail. "If you don't want someone important to die... Start focusing on our team. Not me."
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeTue Oct 22, 2013 1:08 am

Of course that's what he was doing in the first place. That was the whole reason he was making the decision. Why couldn't she see that? He'd been trying to explain this the whole time. Another frustrated sigh as his hand instinctively curls into the same position it would be had he the Talons.

Why was this so difficult? He shakes his head, hating how he couldn't just escape this himself. His leg had mended but the heart...would take time. He frowns and glances to her, his voice still confused. Still troubled.

"That is what I am trying to do...why can you not see that? I need to quell the Memory though. It is always the Memory in the end. Why won't you let me explain?" With that he points toward the bundle of newspaper clippings, towards his own secret. He had tried to explain why he was the way he was. He had tried to show her what had shattered his mind. He just wanted to know if she was happy. He just wanted to try and move past this...

________________________________
Drake Ferrox - Leader of Team DISC - "Even Monsters can be made to know fear!"

Sora Amethyst - Dater of Fayza -  "Yay! Mayhem! Ears! Pettings of ears!"

Aperahama Jones - Lion of the world - "...And that's how I lost my eye to some corn on the cob!"
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeTue Oct 22, 2013 7:25 pm

"Fine. Then explain." Indigo was becoming increasingly irritated at this back and forth. If he wants to act like a child, let him. Whatever.
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeTue Oct 22, 2013 7:56 pm

Another frustrated sigh. This was only making the situation worse. Their respective temperaments were only beginning to wind one another up and he knew it. He takes a deep breath, calming himself and carefully opening the first clipping.

"I just need to know...if you are happy. Nothing more. I...accept your choice. I cannot change things. I was a fool to think that things could change with who I am." He looks to the clipping, to the image of his sister and he frowns, folding it back up. It hurt too much to look at her. It hurt too much when her living doppelganger was sat just across from him. "I...know my role. My duty. My responsibility. But I just need to know if you are happy Indigo. Nothing more..."


________________________________
Drake Ferrox - Leader of Team DISC - "Even Monsters can be made to know fear!"

Sora Amethyst - Dater of Fayza -  "Yay! Mayhem! Ears! Pettings of ears!"

Aperahama Jones - Lion of the world - "...And that's how I lost my eye to some corn on the cob!"
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeTue Oct 22, 2013 11:02 pm

"Yes. I am happy with Shem... I'm... Sorry if I caused any confusion."
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeTue Oct 22, 2013 11:04 pm

"No...I can live with that Indigo. I can live with that."

He sighs and slumps back against the tree, knowing full well that inside he was still broken. Still unable to express what he truly felt. It was pointless trying to make others see how the Memory worked. It was pointless to expect any more..or less. He smiles, just a little and shakes his head.

"I am sorry I never said what I felt. I am sorry that I am...broken...in that way. But knowing that you are happy...I can live with that."

________________________________
Drake Ferrox - Leader of Team DISC - "Even Monsters can be made to know fear!"

Sora Amethyst - Dater of Fayza -  "Yay! Mayhem! Ears! Pettings of ears!"

Aperahama Jones - Lion of the world - "...And that's how I lost my eye to some corn on the cob!"
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeTue Oct 22, 2013 11:31 pm

Indigo chuckles awkwardly. "We're just a lovely dysfunctional family, aren't we?"
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeWed Oct 23, 2013 1:58 am

"Family...huh. I suppose we are. A perfectly dysfunctional family for the next few years. But you're happy. I'll move on in time I guess..."

He smiles just a little, not letting her know how much this hurt. Admitting defeat. Surrendering to the fact that she chose someone else because he never said what he wanted to. He sighs again and kicks his legs forward, looking out toward the horizon.

"Just don't make me dance again."

________________________________
Drake Ferrox - Leader of Team DISC - "Even Monsters can be made to know fear!"

Sora Amethyst - Dater of Fayza -  "Yay! Mayhem! Ears! Pettings of ears!"

Aperahama Jones - Lion of the world - "...And that's how I lost my eye to some corn on the cob!"
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeWed Oct 23, 2013 8:59 am

A sudden burst of leaves falling while alight would be the only indicator of the interrupter, the pink haired demon landing near the pair and panting slightly. Regaining her breath before she speaks, her legs would have cuts on them what looked like they were cauterized closed, "H-hey, Drake? I am here to say sorry for the whole breaking your leg a few days ago."
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PostSubject: Re: Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish]   Between the angels and insects. Zen meditations. [Openish] Icon_minitimeWed Oct 23, 2013 9:31 am

Melissa burst into the area a few seconds after Aoife, panting heavily in comparison to the pink-haired girl. She stood still for a few moments to catch her breath.

"Aoife! Wait up! Why are you in such a rush?" She asked in between pants, not yet having noticed the others.
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