RWBY: The RPG A role playing website based on Monty Oum's RWBY. Create your own character and weapon. Choose to protect the peace, or ruin it. |
| | Cain CleaverBlade | |
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Assassinmaster00
Posts : 9 Join date : 2013-09-24
| Subject: Cain CleaverBlade Tue Sep 24, 2013 12:28 pm | |
| Name: Cain Cleaver-Blade Age: 16, born 23rd of August 1997 Gender: Male Symbol: https://i.imgur.com/FXQOfuo.png? . sorry for bad quality! Appearance: He looks like Sasuke from Naruto, his hair is night-black and is the same style as Sasuke too. He weighs about 7 stone and has a height of 1.6 metres. His build is strong and has a 6 pack. He usually wears a black jacket with a very dark purple T-shirt on, his jeans are black and his trainers are black with purple around the base. Personality: Cain is very mysterious. In most situations he will stay calm and think it through, he only charges in when provoked and is an excellent leader, he can survive out in a forest with no supplies except for the clothes he arrives in for months. History: At the age of 13 he had already created his Scythe. He was abandoned at the age of ten ( a few months after he created his weapon) and became a protector of the city of veil when he saw a couple murdered right in front of him, he vowed to try and never let that happen again. he was recruited into beacon when one of the teachers of beacon recognised his talent and got him into beacon. Not much else is known about him as he does not talk to anyone. He learns really quickly. He met his girlfriend when he was walking around Veil one night. She is also a student at Beacon, they have most classes together. (Note: When Cain dies i will create Valkyrie under 'Valkyrie Cain' with her back story and stuff) Strength: His strength is his great knowledge of his longer term enemies, he is able to recover information from people just bu knowing a few things, this helps him especially when making friends at beacon, currently his only 'friend' is his girlfriend, Valkyrie Weakness: If someone attacks his friends or people close to him, he will get reckless and desire blood on the poor soul who provoked this rage... WEAPON Name: Valkyrie Primary Form: A Scythe, if you think of Ruby's, it is the same design only the coulour scheme is Black where red is and Purple where Black is, the Blade is Obsidian black, Secondary Form/Function: Cain can turn the scythe into an 'electro whip' and which can temporarily be de activated to be usead as a non-lethal whip or grapple hook, the secondary form is when the Scythe becomes a pistol. It starts off as a pistol which is in Cain's Holster on his leg, but when activated the chamber of the pistol flips up and lets a long wire out, this is the whip, the lightning part is when he inserts some light blue dust into the handle of the whip/scythe/gun the scythe which is the primary form works that instead of a wire coming out of the chamber a pole comes out which has a black line down the middle, this flips out and is the blade of the scythe. History: Cain created Valkyrie him self,named after his Girl Friend Valkyrie, he spent 5 years on it, from 8 to 13 years old. only he can weild it, it is indestructible while loaded with dust. Using the un electrofied whip of it has helped him take down many criminals without killing them (in a batman style, he was also recruited via same means of ruby where the huntress found her, well a hunter found him), the two are in-seperable and where you find one, you find the other.
Last edited by Assassinmaster00 on Fri Sep 27, 2013 6:24 pm; edited 2 times in total | |
| | | Assassinmaster00
Posts : 9 Join date : 2013-09-24
| Subject: Re: Cain CleaverBlade Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:48 pm | |
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| | | Assassinmaster00
Posts : 9 Join date : 2013-09-24
| Subject: Re: Cain CleaverBlade Wed Sep 25, 2013 1:12 pm | |
| Flipping phone, anyway, as I was saying, I don't know how to contact a mod but I would like the age changing to 16 the date of birth to 23 august 1997 and the dust reload system is when he puts his hands in his pockets and he gets 2 new dust canisters | |
| | | Kooplah Head Admin
Posts : 1380 Join date : 2013-09-05
| Subject: Re: Cain CleaverBlade Thu Sep 26, 2013 2:13 am | |
| Alright, I'm a weapons guy, so I'm gonna talk about the weapon first.
The weapon can't be allowed to create any shape. I would limit it to say... five basic weapons. A scythe, sword, hammer, mace, what have you. The device would also consume a fair amount of dust to do this.
The second form of your weapon seems to be able to do many things. That's fine, but it can't be all at the same time. To do something else, you have to use a different kind of dust. For example, you can't use the lightning whip when you have fire dust in there. YOu need to swap it out, etc. Also, the earth control doesn't sound reasonable either. We haven't seen anything like that in the show, and I'm pretty hesitant to allow something like that.
The history of your weapon is pretty short. I don't feel comfortable saying that a five year old child built this, frankly very powerful weapon. Even if it did take five years.
Overall, your weapon is able to do too many things. We allow 1 weapon with three different forms, or up to 3 weapons with 1 form each. A weapon that can take the shape of anything is way beyond these rules. The ability to control any element is also very broad with no weaknesses. Remove the control over earth, or limit it melee only. You can't pull a giant boulder out of the ground and throw it without phyically doing it. You can, however, use the dust/aura ability and lift the rock up and throw it. Or, as an example, punch the ground, causing a wall of earth to shoot up in front of you/very near you. You can't do it from super far away.
Onto your character.
Appearance: Your appearance isn't too detailed, but its fine since you described another character you look like. You need to fix your weight. 4 stones is only 56 pounds or 25 kilograms, which is far too light for a human.
Your character's history is odd. Again, it seems strange that your character was able to create such advanced technology at a very young age. What to you mean you became a protector of Vale? Like, Batman style? Describe that better, but Beacon Academy typically doesn't recruit people that don't go to schooling for it. If you want to avoid going to a Pre-Beacon school like Signal, or Sanctum, then include a story of how you were recruited.
Strengths: "His strength is his great knowledge of the world, his enemies and his few friends strengths and weaknesses." This part sounds very... gimmicky and easily abused. It also seems difficult to understand how you have such great knowledge of the world if you were abandoned at age 10, then stayed in Vale the entire time. Describe these things better/come up with new strengths. | |
| | | Assassinmaster00
Posts : 9 Join date : 2013-09-24
| Subject: Re: Cain CleaverBlade Thu Sep 26, 2013 5:16 am | |
| Thanks for replying, With the weapon i will have a Scythe, the next form is the lightning whip which uses dust and acts a grappling hook and third form a pistol, the dust reloads via a very flashy system where Cain grabs the dust, throws it up into the air , slides a slot on the weapon which i will now call Valkyrie, and the dust lands inside, the slot closes and the form changes via the blade straightening out, sliding into the handle and the whip/ slides out. The pistol form is when the hande folds in on it's self further to produce a pistol, reloads take place after 6 shots, the reload is the standard reload for most pistols with a barrel instead of a clip. The weapons history could be that Cain started to build it at the age of 10 and finished when he was 15 (he is now 16 as stated in my first comment).
I will change Cains weight to about 7 stone. The strength could be a great knowledge of the beasts and his longer-term enemies.
I just had another idea (sorry for all these changes) where Cain has a girlfriend named Valkyrie, which is who he named his weapon after. (she hasn't got a second name yet) and when Cain dies i will create her on the forums!
Thankyou for reading and making these changes in advance, best forum mod i have ever seen!
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| | | Kooplah Head Admin
Posts : 1380 Join date : 2013-09-05
| Subject: Re: Cain CleaverBlade Thu Sep 26, 2013 6:45 pm | |
| You are able to edit your own posts. Please edit it to reflect these changes!
Thank you for the compliment! | |
| | | Assassinmaster00
Posts : 9 Join date : 2013-09-24
| Subject: Re: Cain CleaverBlade Fri Sep 27, 2013 12:26 pm | |
| oh, ok! i didn't know that as i couldn't find the button! thanks for being such a helpful admin!! | |
| | | Kooplah Head Admin
Posts : 1380 Join date : 2013-09-05
| Subject: Re: Cain CleaverBlade Fri Sep 27, 2013 6:09 pm | |
| Your history hasn't changed. You need to describe better what being a, "Protector of Vale" is, and how you were accepted into Beacon with no formal training beforehand.
Your character strengths also still needs to be changed. The first half is acceptable, but you can't have great knowledge of your allies' weaknesses when you don't know your allies, and you don't have any allies in your history. You can say you have something like, you are able to understand and work with your allies' weaknesses, to try and overcome them or some such. | |
| | | Kooplah Head Admin
Posts : 1380 Join date : 2013-09-05
| Subject: Re: Cain CleaverBlade Sat Sep 28, 2013 4:19 am | |
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